Writing Competency Test To Have New “Pirate” Requirement

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

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Sir GeorgeStarting today, April 1, Park University has announced the Writing Competency Test will be required to be written in “Pirate English.” The test is designed to ensure students know how to structure, cite and write essays and research papers, and is a graduation requirement for all students.

Emily Donnelli-Sallee, Ph.D., interim dean of the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences and associate professor of English, said, “Standard edited English is a barnacle from which students need to be freed. I fully support Park’s move to require students to write in Pirate-ese on the Writing Competency Test. This requirement will not only build dialectical flexibility but also prepare students for high-demand careers in the seafaring professions.”

Park University administrators concur that because of the popularity of Facebook’s option to have a user’s newsfeed in “Pirate-ese” and because the University has a pirate as a mascot, it only made sense that students learn how to properly write and speak “Pirate.” This also ties into Park’s Promise to prepare students for a global society and be ready to properly “gab” during International Talk Like A Pirate Day, which this year will be celebrated on Friday, Sept. 19.

Upon learning of the new requirements, Park’s mascot Sir George was at a loss for words and had tears in his eyes, only providing a “thumbs up” gesture in appreciation.